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Non-Fluffy Pagans
A question or two... 
26th-Dec-2010 10:21 pm
September look
I'm going through a difficult time in my life right now and I have been trying to make my will known to the Universe in an effort to affect a big change in my own life....I've read various books and sites suggesting to "ask for help from the Universe" or to "put your will out there", etc.
Thing is...aside from just talking aloud and literally asking for help and/or describing what I need/want, I'm not sure exactly what I need to do or how to go about "making my will known".
-Could anyone explain/suggest how to go about this?
I've even gone so far as to write it all down and burn the paper while fanning the cold ashes into the night sky on the wind...

Further, I'm also trying some "visualizing" in an effort to attract/bring what I desire most into my life. I'm an artist so visualizing isn't difficult for me, but I'm honestly having some problems in visualizing what I'm wanting even though I know exactly what it is that I want.
Is daydreaming not a form of visualizing? I tend to end up 'accidentally' visualizing more clearly through daydreaming rather than when I'm intentionally trying to do it.

I'm also doing a Honeyjar Spell and I burn certain candles atop the jar during every full-moon as this is a long-term goal and burning candles 'every' day/night is not realistic for me. I dress the candles in "come to me" oil before I burn them and I'm selecting certain colored candles for their meanings and what they mean to me in relation to what I'm wanting to attract back into my life.
I've also added some menstrual blood during a full moon to the jar to help strengthen the energy being put into it as well as, some crystals.

Are there any books or sites you all could recommend to me?

I'm not a Witch nor a Wiccan, I just consider myself a Pagan, and this Honeyjar spell is my first spell-work that I can ever recall doing. I'm excited by it, but at the same time...I'm not sure if it's enough for my needs. I've been 'reading' (so, an "arm-chair Pagan") for many years with the desire to start practicing when I was finally ready to.

I know I've not really given any info. as to what it is I'm trying to achieve, I'd prefer not to divulge that as it's private, but I just need some help/advice when it comes to visualizing and putting forth my Will.
-And what could I offer as thanks to the Universe/Goddess?... a friend said I should just try to better myself on my journey and that that should be good enough, but I'm not sure..

Thanks so much, I appreciate any and all help/suggestions.
Comments 
27th-Dec-2010 01:07 pm (UTC)
There is the matter of actualization. You need to conform your day to day thoughts, perceptions, desires and actions to meet the changes you are doing spells/rituals for.
Practical has to be part of ritual.
Sometimes this means a change of attitude. You can not change what other people think or do but you can change what you think or do about/with that other person.

Blessings
27th-Dec-2010 01:30 pm (UTC)
I would continue writing down what it is you want to change, and burning it. Do that as often as you can remember (daily or nightly) and along with changing your own attitude, you can start to effectuate that change. I don't believe prayer -- whether it is pagan, christian, wiccan -- is ever wasted.

As for offering thanks? I normally leave something for nature, in the form of food for the animals, and I'm also rather generous with giving anonymously. Charity, my time, or whatever presents itself.

Kind of vague, I know, but sometimes what happens is a vague feeling. It's just a prompt, or a notion -- I should help here. . . and then I do.
(Deleted comment)
27th-Dec-2010 02:44 pm (UTC)
Good advice that is.

Once upon a time I wanted something. It seemed impossible but I asked. Two years later something different but just as good (or better!) as what I asked for appeared - and it was obtainable.
The Goddess works as She will and it isn't always as expected.
(Deleted comment)
27th-Dec-2010 07:26 pm (UTC)
And after all, it is mercury retrograde until December 31 (best time to do clean up and preparation and background work, as opposed to moving forward or doing things with communication, travel, etc.), plus solstice and eclipse and full moon and all this past week have felt very significant and have made a huge amount of stress for many (like, my tenant beat up his girlfriend and is in jail, my boss is in the hospital, and my partner is in bed overworked and unconscious, and this is even after it's been moving past those configurations!). I think that it can be a great time to assess what's going on in your life, learn to accept stress like this person here advises, and just observe, rest up, see what needs to be done, so that you'll be ready for when the energies move forward. I personally really like the Abraham-Hicks books about Ask And It Is Given, and how it points out that you get what you dwell on, good or bad. That book is quite practical and has a couple of dozen exercises in the back: not pagan, not not-pagan, just how to work with energy. Good luck with it!
27th-Dec-2010 03:09 pm (UTC)
I highly recommend Power Spellcraft for Life by Arin Murphy-Hiscock. Rather than being a recipe-book of pre-made spells, it explains the mechanics of creating your own spell to enact the change you want, and how to make it personal to you, your situation, and your desires.
27th-Dec-2010 05:01 pm (UTC)
You're working so hard to make the Universe tell you one particular thing that you're probably missing whatever She is actually telling you. Here are some ideas I have used with success in over fifty years of witchery:

1. When I Work for something, I do it at a specific time that makes sense to me because it's in harmony with what I want. Then I will not Work for that particular thing for an entire lunation, until the Moon comes back around again to the same phase. Doing the same Work too frequently makes the conditions differ so radically that sometimes you are Working in opposition to what you really want...doing, for example, a Working to attract a mate on the Dark Moon and then again on the Full Moon will effectively stall the Working.

2. I always put into a Spell, if I am asking something that is difficult to quantify, some marker that will let me know whether things are moving in my direction. Something I ask for that can be easily observed to let me know the Universe is paying attention, and then I wait for that thing to occur so I will know the Work is developing.

3. I never do any Working without the consciousness that I WILL get a response, but it might not be the one I need. So I consciously "Put the Work Away" after the Spell is done, and then I Pay Attention....as in, now that I have asked the Universe for "X", what kind of a response am I getting, that might also include "Y" and "Z", maybe even before, or instead of, "X". It's pointless to have a magical conversation if you aren't willing to listen to the other party, and if you can't be quiet long enough to hear what the Universe is saying to you. I suggest actively resigning this Work to the Universe for a full lunation, and spending that time meditating and Paying Attention to what is happening around you. It occurs to me that you have spent far too much time demanding what you want from the Universe, and then haven't figured out how to listen to what you're being told.

Finally, remember that Want isn't Will. Your True Will has far more to do with who you Are, who you are intended to Be or Become, than it does with what you Want. Maybe you should spend some time, in your time of Paying Attention, looking carefully at the matter you've been working on, and asking yourself if it is really your Will, and if not, why not?
27th-Dec-2010 05:03 pm (UTC)
First, what do *you* mean when you write "I just consider myself a Pagan"?

I ask that first because "trying to make my will known to the Universe" is awfully vague. The Universe has a lot on its plate. As a general rule, it's much more effective to address requests to specific Powers. What Powers do you have a relationship with? What Powers are you interested in establishing a relationship with? One of the most frustrating things I see modern pagans do is treat the Powers as Cosmic Vending Machines (as someone else so rightly put it). The gods, ancestors, wights, etc., are all people too. You are much more likely to get help from someone you have a relationship with than someone you've never met before. Also, it helps to address the request to someone who is likely to be able to help with what you're requesting. If I need help putting up shelves, I'm better off asking my covenmate who is a general contractor than one of my covenmates who are social workers. Similarly, it's better to ask Aphrodite for help with a love spell than Athena.

If, on the other hand, you are magically focused rather than religiously focused, start using specific plants that have inherent virtues that match your intent. (This is a different application of the same general principle: Specificity is more effective than generality.)
27th-Dec-2010 05:16 pm (UTC)
Also, a general rule of timing:

Full moon is NOT the best time to work for change. Full moon puts Sol and Luna in opposition, which is the worst aspect in astrology. The only types of magical workings that are good to do during the full moon are those that you want to remain stable (i.e., not to change); e.g.: consecrating a ritual tool, blessing a home, establishing protections.

If you want something to increase (manifest), work during the waxing moon. If you want something to decrease (go away), work during the wanting moon. The most powerful time of the waxing moon is after the square (first quarter), leading up to the trine. The most powerful time of the waning moon is after the trine, leading up to the square (last quarter).
27th-Dec-2010 05:21 pm (UTC)
I think the honeypot you are doing is a good idea. I get the sense your request is somewhat of an emergency, otherwise you wouldn't be pumping it so hard. However, you may need to turn some of the intense focus you have put into sending out your will, into passive focus on receiving your desire.

Folks can get so wrapped up in asking for what they want, they can barely notice when it is being offered. Take a breather and look around you for your opening to take what is being offered, and then be a closer! Once the ball is back in your court you will have to take the next move.
28th-Dec-2010 12:19 am (UTC)
You've gotten some really good advice here. I'm going to nod specifically to what mzwyndi said, and add a bit to it.

If this is a complicated result you're trying to reach, break it down into components. Put those components into a timeline that works best for acheiving each stage of your goal. Then focus your intent and energy on the next portion of your overall goal. Stronger focus, smaller target, one thing at a time is a better more efficient way to use your energy and resources.

Edited at 2010-12-28 12:20 am (UTC)
28th-Dec-2010 12:28 am (UTC)
This may be painfully mundane as a suggestion, but have you tried brainstorming a list of things you can do tomorrow/this week to help your goal along? It would help keep you focused on your goal, encourage you to think about how to break it into manageable steps, give you concrete milestones, and let you be proactive (instead of just waiting around for the Universe to notice).
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